We’ve all stared in pity at that kid at school or that coworker at the office who has somehow been bribed, bullied, or otherwise forced in to wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. Maybe he lost a bet. Or it could be that he’s trying to convince a loved one that he likes the gift they spent so much time picking out. It can’t possibly be that the person in question thinks the ugly holiday sweater is cool, can it? You certainly hope not. But if we’re being honest, all of us have, at one time or another, been the recipient of a god-awful ugly holiday sweater. And some of us keep it in our closet for that family Christmas dinner that rolls around once a year, just so we can let Grammie know we still love her (if only she knew how much). But it turns out there is another way to get use out of this fashion faux pas that’s permanently hidden in the bowels of your bureau: by throwing an ugly Christmas sweater party. And you can start by picking a date and penning some invites.
In the grand tradition of “in bad taste” parties that have gone before, your theme must extend to your invites. And whether you’re sending out old-school snail mail or you’ve hopped aboard the Evite bandwagon, there are a few things you’ll want to include so that people understand the aesthetic you’re going for. Obviously you’ll want to note all the pertinent data, including the date, time, and location of the event. But you might also need to spell out some guidelines for the type of party you’re having. Like mustache parties, ugly sweater soirees are a relatively recent addition to the social scene, so some of your guests might be new to the concept. For this reason you’re going to have to include instructions on how to dress.
The idea of an ugly Christmas sweater party might sound self-explanatory, but when people start showing up in plain, old, ugly sweaters of the Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby) variety, or they mistakenly believe that their patterned, Scandinavian sweaters are ugly enough, you’ll know you haven’t done your part to explain to them just how very tacky they’re supposed to be dressed. You might therefore want to include visual aids, especially if you happen to have a photo of yourself in an ugly Christmas sweater that you were stylish enough to hate even at the tender age of five (and the look on your face in the photo shows your growing displeasure). You could also refer people to movies or links with samples for their perusal before the event.
It’s also a good idea to prepare guests for contests. When they know they can get prizes for creativity and humor, and that they are supposed to go out of their way not only to find ready-to-wear sweaters that will make other guests gasp in horror and delight, but to add their own crazy decorations, they’re sure to get into the spirit of the event appropriately. As a final guideline, however, you’ll want to make sure that your invitation is just as gauche as the sweaters everyone will be wearing. You might, for example, replicate your own ugly Christmas sweater as a graphic on the invite, or pepper paper invites with so much glitter that your guests will find it all over their house for weeks after they open your card (so devious). And make sure to add a nod to the sappy holiday greetings that tend to populate Christmas cards. If you’re stuck, head to the card aisle at the pharmacy for inspiration. You’re sure to find a few lines worthy of parody.
